Archive for March, 2007

We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack

March 24, 2007

Emperor Palpatine fails to act after being informed of the attack



Uncomfortable Questions: Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job?

Websurdity Link: This article was inspired by the fine users at the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) Forum, to whom I am indebted for the use of much of this material.

We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

Like many Americans, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

Below is a summary of my book, Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack, which presents compelling evidence that we all may be the victims of a fraud of immense proportions.


The waterboarded evildoer

March 17, 2007


Day’s dawning, skins crawling
Pure morning

The waterboarded evildoer
By Pepe Escobar

Waterboarding involves being bound upside down to an inclined board, head wrapped in cellophane. Fear of drowning is inevitable and kicks in after just a few seconds. Waterboarding was widely practiced by US-advised military dictatorships in Latin America during the 1970s.

Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) customers to waterboarding usually don’t last more then 14 seconds before confessing to anything. Salafi-jihadi mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammad – KSM, as he is known in the counterinsurgency netherworld – apparently lasted as long as 150 seconds.

Conspiracy Theorists Eat Humble Pie

March 17, 2007

A friend in need’s a friend indeed
A friend with weed is better
A friend with breasts and all the rest
A friend who’s dressed in leather – PLACEBO

(Conspiracy Nation, 03/15/07) – Conspiracy theorists have been made to eat humble pie, consequent to the air-tight confession of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (image, left).

Previously, the theorists had doubted the official version of the events of September 11, 2001. They had trouble believing 19 Arabs with box-cutter knives could have defeated U.S. air defenses. But with Khalid’s confession that he did it, the conspiracy theorists have been forced to throw in the towel.

I might as well get rid of all my conspiracy books now,” stated one theorist. “I guess I’ll study accounting instead.”

Besides being responsible for the terror events of 9/11, Khalid admitted to guilt for the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, the Bali nightclub bombing, and for planned attacks on Big Ben, Henry Kissinger, and Santa Claus.

And what about the JFK assassination? “Yes, I shot Kennedy also,” revealed Khalid. “I also murdered Nicole Brown Simpson.”

Khalid’s air-tight confession has sent shock waves through the community of conspiracy theorists. “Well, that’s that,” stated the editor of Conspiracy Nation. “There goes our wonderful cottage industry, where we were making so much money. Might as well fold up the tent and join the Republican Party now.”

Conspiracy Nation

Marijuana Odor Didn’t Justify Search Without a Warrant

March 11, 2007


Marijuana Odor Didn’t Justify Search Without a Warrant

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — The odor of burning marijuana didn’t justify a search of a central Utah trailer without a warrant, the Utah Supreme Court said Friday.

Police officers broke through the door of a trailer in Carbon County in April 2003 because they believed the suspects were eliminating evidence by smoking it. The court, however, said there was no sign that Bernadette Duran knew authorities were around.

“Most significantly, there is no indication that the law enforcement officers engaged in any effort, much less a reasonable one, to reconcile their … needs with the demands of personal privacy,” the court said in a 4-1 decision.

The Supreme Court upheld a ruling by the Utah Court of Appeals. The case originated with a judge in 7th District Court in Price, who had refused to throw out evidence. Police seized guns and drugs.

“Oh, hallelujah,” Duran’s attorney, Samuel B. Bailey, said. “This is good news.”

Duran and three other defendants pleaded guilty to drug charges, although her conviction was conditional and thrown out after the appeals court declared the seizure illegal, Bailey said.

He had feared the Supreme Court would rule against Duran, giving police more authority and diminishing privacy rights.

The ruling “will change things,” Bailey predicted. “They pay attention, officers do. They read the case law and they know when they get overturned.”

The dissenter on Utah’s highest court was Associate Chief Justice Michael Wilkins, who said “this was not a close call” that would require a search warrant.

“Protecting the rights of citizens does not necessarily require the handcuffing of police,” he wrote.

The Utah Attorney General’s Office, which took the case to the Supreme Court, did not return a phone call seeking comment.

In the decision written by Justice Ronald Nehring, the majority expressed concern that police might feel empowered to enter a house to check if minors were drinking alcohol or search an 18-year-old for cigarettes, both without warrants.

(Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

The Libby shield – Bob Geiger

March 11, 2007